By Liz Johnston
I am that person no one wants to be. I am the one they whisper about....“that woman that lost her only child.” I am the reminder, the measuring stick by which you count your blessings. I am the one living the absolute worst nightmare of most. And it is easy to see why. It is easy to look at me and see loss. It is easy to look at me and feel terrified and helpless. It is easy to look at me and know sorrow and pain. All of that is completely understandable.
But there is another way to look at things. I am the one that got to be the mother of Jordan William Sebastian. I am the one God picked to be his mother. I am the one Jordan picked to be his mama. I am the one that had the privilege and the joy of spending my days with that beautiful soul. I am the one that got to see him grow, and learn, and flourish. I am the woman whose son made her proud every moment of his life. I am the mom whose son loved having her around--even through his teen years. I am the woman he admired most. I am the recipient of his unconditional, unwavering, fierce, undying love. And love, love is everything.
Listen, I would give my life in the quickest heartbeat if it meant Jordan could live longer. And I’m not saying that I am happy about my circumstances. What I am saying is this-- I will choose a life of gratitude over misery. I will choose a life of gratitude over pity. I will continue to consider myself blessed to call Jordan mine.
I will always be sad. Every. Single. Day. But my gratitude is greater than my sadness. And that is how you dominate the day. Every day that you are granted.
Thank you for the love, Jordan. I will always be grateful for our life together.